Grand plans
There’s a few suggestions floating around for the next grand, unexamined and uncosted project that Colin Barnett will unconditionally support. In a hilarious post, Sam Ward tells us, “I’d personally like to see a space elevator of some kind, or maybe even a gigantic, pyramid shaped hotel.”
Anthony Georgeff identifies a problem and proposes a bold solution:
Due to our latitude in Perth we have a distinct lack of twilight, causing a harsh transition between night and day. Now I don’t want to be selfish and complain how this ruins my picnic plans, but it does impact heavily on safety such as driver response time in putting their headlights on etc. Now I know for a fact that to the west of us, there continues to be vast reserves of sunlight for hours. All it would take would be a sufficiently large tube of fibre optic cable with a collector somewhere around Madagascar to more than meet our needs. I’m not a knocker, I think we need every now and then to let loose the reins of planning and follow our visions Joan d’Arc style, so I humbly offer this as an alternative or bugger it, do both.
Does anybody else have a good idea? Colin’s prepared to spend more than $12 billion. Leave a broad outline of your proposal in the comments — we’ll sort out the details later.
Update: Crikey’s Christian Kerr sent me this from the cutting-room floor:
An advance copy of the Western Australia Liberal Party Tourism policy has fallen into Crikey’s hands — and boy, is it a ripper. You know that Kimberly-Perth canal Colin Barnett’s gonna build? Well, south of Karratha it’s gonna feature gondolas!
I think a vast maglev tunnel train system between Perth and somewhere on the East Coast, or perhaps to Europe, America, and Asia would be fine—stuff Adelaide though.
Alternatively, free education?
The Barnett plan is unimaginative and dreary. The obvious solution is to tow Perth north and anchor it just off the Kimberley. Think os the savings in not having to build the canal at all.
How about a Chunnel between Perth and Bali?
Tasteful application of shade-cloth. Over all of WA.
How about private schooling for all?
How about Free Unlimited Broadband for EVERYONE even if it means laying fibre-optic cables to EVERY house in the state.
Im with Frank.
even if it means laying fibre-optic cables
Ha! Too late boyos, I got the last 200okm.
While a Very Fast Train is always a great way to waste vast sums of money, it has the disadvantage of being potentially useful, especially if you happen to live somewhere it goes. A much better idea is a monorail. When Sydney wanted to waste money before the bicentennial year we linked Central and Town Hall railway stations (which were already linked by a railway) and shot it off to the stinky fishport of Darling Harbour. Now we have hideous blue tracks running all over the city and nobody goes on it because it costs $4 one way and it doesn’t go anywhere useful (like down the guts of the city – who wants to go to Darling harbour anyway?).
So my vote would be for a monorail, or some sort of paddle-pop stick skyscraper.
Come on, Rowen, you’re selling us short. What WA really needs is a Very Fast Monoral… to Sydney!
As Colin Barnett would say, “The reason I made the decision to build it is because West Australia simply can’t afford not to.”
Are you convinced? I know I am!
Come on people, this is the 21st Century. So what does the world need now? That’s right, Rocket Packs.
Where’s my bloody rocket pack!!!
bloody naysayers and carping lefties. The Big Canal is a concept up there in total awesomeness with The Big Pineapple, The Big Banana and The Big Prawn. How can WA expect to be competitive in the national, even global market of Big Stuff without it. Shit you could just build it to run exactly alongside the highway that goes north to the Kimberley and parents would be able to stop AT ANY MOMENT of the journey and take the whiny kids to see The Big Canal and buy a postcard. This alone would have tourists flocking from around the world.
actually The Big Prawn is kind of crap I have to admit but the point stands.
Come on Rowen. When I was last in Sydney I LOVED Darling Harbour.