Progress
Progress: “My new phone has a digital compass on it. While reading the 96 page booklet that came with the phone, I noticed it stated that using the compass drains the battery very quickly. Fucking great! So if I get lost in the bush for 10 days I have to take the charger with me.”

Rob, this one is about as good as the American legal requirement for braille on the buttons of their drive-up Automatic Teller Machines.
Makes you want to throw a half-dozen boneheaded R&D engineers out in the Simpson for a week or so to put your point, doesn’t it?